Scarlet Face

My teenage biggest issue... Blushing.  It just gives you away during those worst moments possible.  It often doesn't even co-op with your real emotional state.  Just worrying about blushing even makes you blush.  The moment you know it's happening, you just wanna turn your face and walk away.  It can be so embarrassing.  I am not talking about those cute blushings, which I am unable to do by the way, where only the cheek surface gets little flushed, I wish... no.  The blushing has to cover the entire face up to ears and even without the color, your face looks kinda swollen like you've been punched several times and now it's all bloated ~__~
Not attractive.

I remember all those.. times trying to overcome those mortifying memories following an oral speech... urgh... I could honestly die on the spot.  Humiliation is such a self-conscious unease that can become so insupportable over time if you can't manage to forget them or let it go.  I feel like I'm dying from the inside every time.

And if you are someone who went through similar difficulties, what loss would be more convenient?
The faculty to blush? Or the feeling to be ashamed of it?