NOTE // one year after I wrote that: Warning; this gotta be my most emo era LOLOLOOL. cant believe i wrote that. its kinda weird re-reading this. haha..
I wish I had friends to hang out with. I wish I had someone to celebrate my birthday with. I wish I wasn't as loser as buying my own cake. Dec 13th is always the most miserable day of the year. I wish it was erased from the calender and I might just as well do that from now on.
I always thought at some point that spoiling kids during their birthday wasn't healthy and that I will not succumb to this tendency if I ever had kids. Like my own birthday, I will not go further than buying a cake, or make them buy the cake and sing the happy birthday song to them. I will perhaps start giving presents only when the child is becoming a teen.
That's what I said to myself.
Now I think otherwise. I thought I was happy I was raised that way, excluding the gifts part 'cause I obviously don't get any.
But actually... without going overboard, I now feel it is important to make 'em realize that they are important. That they deserve celebrations and... the lot that comes with it.
Without that, they can end up a little bit weird... low self-esteem for most of the cases, emotionally overwhelmed when their birthdays are celebrated... to a point they may react inappropriately.
Is it normal a kid feels tormented that his birthday is being celebrated? Let alone receiving gifts. After all, he's not worth having a little group-up gathered for one common goal: him. Wishing him a happy birthday.
I know it's not... but it's kinda imprinted into me already. No wonder no one would go look for me anymore during that day. I usually isolate myself during my birthday, because I don't feel comfortable that people would try celebrate it. Yet... I wish I could like anyone else... But honestly, as today, I don't think there's anyone who's really trying in the end. I don't even need to isolate myself. It's during those times I feel the most sorry for myself.
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