I'm going to japan

the 25th of June... Somehow I should be excited.. but the decision was so rushed in (was literally decided overnight) There's so many thgs going on in my head that makes me back off from this trip.. first family issues at home are still not fixed (and probably never will with the way thgs are going)

second.. the companies i'm with is just not i'd have expected if I ever go to Japan.  I thought I'd have a knowledgeable friend that could guide me here and there and knows Japanese as well.  But I'm with my friend who's not a japan fan, in fact she was an ex- japan hater (cuz she's from China).. so we're going to be 2 little kids lost in the blues lol sigh... I will have to explain all the basic thgs like whats a onsen, host club, harajuku, shinjuku district, visual kei, the fashion, manga store, matsuri, etc (all the places I intend to go)...  lets hope I can manage to make her appreciate japan the way I do during that trip...

3rd... money money money.... is it really the right time for me to have fun like that... I lent 2k to my sis last month so she can go to china... sured that I wouldnt need it this summer... now that I have paid my taxes and all.. I fucking need it o_o if one or 2 of my pay checks dont come out before my departure, im doomed.

4th and most important of all, TRAINING. im going to miss a month worth of wushu... and im going to miss my wushu mates competing for the tournament...

I'll stay in Tsukuba where one of my friend is staying.  It's a quiet place and he says ppl there done like strange activities so I won't be able to train outside or in a park.. T^T


putting all 4 issues appart, YES I can't wait to visit my heart's hometown.  Japan, where my heart always belonged.  What I grew up with.  And I won't be looking like a freak anymore, cuz everybody there will be just as freak as me, even more X)

And I finally wont need to hold back anymore
that I can't wait