This may contain self-notes from a distant past while i was just a child
"OMFG that went sooo wrong omg i just wanna kill myself!! i did it.. i did it.. i ask the guy out.. i mean just hang out.. omfg it was so fucking weird. thats the first time i asked a guy out. fuck im so awkward and so embarassed now. that guy just kinda tried to take it humorously. let me die already. he didnt say he didnt want to.. but i could tell. so i told him.. 'its kay if you dont want... let me know if you change your mind'. he went 'lolk'
This is humiliating.
seriously if could die of shame I wouldnt survive in this world
i better do my best not to think about it for now or i wont be able to stand on my feet the next day"
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