Sexual Abuse

People who were around survivors when the abuse was happening say things like "I didn't see any signs". What I would say in response to that would be "What elements were you looking at? What were being observed and interpreted?" One must consider all the behaviors, not just the behavior which is overtly criminal. The insidious behaviors must be considered as well. Person's words, mannerrism, gestures, and expression for example. As part of the manipulation, I would also mention gaslighting. This is a very powerful technique that narcissists use. The abuser will use the survivor's own insecurities and turn them against the survivor. The insecurities are more pronounced because of the abuse itself. So it's this vicious cycle that rewards the abuser for gaslighting. Their ability to gaslight become enhance due to their own abusive behavior. The more the perpretrator commits abuse, the more they can blame the survivor for what is happening to the survivor.  

- Dr. Grande  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXkfxTE46Ag